Repost from 6/24/2010
You've come a long way Baby!
This has path has been filled with many up's and down's! I can not believe how far me/we have come. Now I am not making millions or anything like that, but my life is so much richer now then it ever has been before. The chances to start over or to start life is amazing. Happiness comes along when one least expects it. I see now taking a chance is a wonderful thing.
I've stopped on a few occassions to stop the pity party just to open my eyes and thank God for the wonderful things happening in my life and the wonderful people placed in my life!
The little one that neither of us planned has been a very wonderful blessing!
The Lady's at work blessed me with a baby shower!
Judy, Lynda, Lisa, Suzanne, Christina, Sandy and Lauren has given me wonderful baby things!
I've gotten some sage advice and support from many new positive people I have met over the past year... My 2 sisters, Peggy, Babe, Kim, Sue, Kristy, Lisa, Terry D., Roberta, Beth, Lynda, Brian,Lesile, Michelle, Laura, Will and countless others!
I have been blessed with a man that loves me and the girls to pieces! Without him I don't know where I would be. I wasn't looking for a relationship at the time but boy oh boy, God loves to throw you a good thing when you are least looking for it! I did do 10 wishes and I will be darned if I didn't get 2 of them sooner then expected. And he puts with alot of crap, the divorce and death threats, the girls, temper tantrums (that's me! LOL!). Thank you my Love!
The world is my oyster! Through the dark clouds there are silver linings, oh I still stumble, I still am haunted in some ways by memories, but Terry noticed they are getting fewer apart. No more crying out or wimpering in the middle of the night (I didn't realize I did that!). My panic attacks are much better, I do have times when I do still feel sorry for myself. Especially now due to my growing belly!
The girls are so much better now then they were a year ago! Alex is such a ham and Jess is working on not mothering so much. We gave her an order to just be a kid and she learning to do so. Both seem to be working on their memories as well but they each handle them differently. They miss their brother and I do too, but that is still not safe for myself and Terry. I pray about this relationship between the 3 of us. I know it would be a very long time before we can trust him.
School has been a blessing as I am realizing I am doing ok. I had reservations about going back but I am excited and can not wait for school to end so I can find something I want to do. I am excited as well about becoming a Doula! I've always loved to fly by the seat of my pants!
The issue of Domestic Violence is still a strong thing in my life and voicing it to others will more then likely be something I will advocate for a long time! Reaching out to others that were in a bad relationship even if it is just for coffee will be something I enjoy doing. Though lately I am afraid I need to catch up with someone!
Thank you all for your kindness, kind words and the support!
I have done so many things in this short period of time. I've been able to stop and look at things around me and just say thanks Lord for all I have and for his protection, strength and grace and I know He is walking with me!