Fall time and Birthday wishes!

This is my favorite time of year. It's not too hot or too super cold but just right to me! I enjoy hearing the crunch of the leaves as I walk through fallen leaves, the smell of Fall is smoky, woodsy and incredible to me. In the spirit of the season I found a great deal on Fall sprays at Michael's. Got out my glue gun and a wreath I have had tucked away for YEARS! And away I went...

 Leftover fabric from The Parachute project! I cut 1" strips (Guesstimate) to wrap around the wreath and to use as a hanger!

Fiddling around before I secured it in place

 This picture does not do it justice! I needed to fluff and mess around with it a bit more. I ended up cranking out a few more projects, a candle ring (Need a taller candle) and a Birthday gift for my Lil' sister, Ashley, she turns 21 on Saturday!

This was her first Baby shoe! I blinged it up with antiqued rose buds, pearls, purple organza ribbon, spanish moss, and I secured a ring on the top! (I can't take credit for the ring) Dad, Mom and Ash were in tears! She's grown into a beautiful woman! She is a model, actress, and student right now.

She ROCKS!

 My girls of course scoped out the ice cream!

 Mini Man is a tired and tuckered out guy! He fell asleep on the way home.

Happy Fall! Hope to grab my glue gun again soon!

Pre-teens and Babies! Happy birthday!

I can't believe so much time has passed! Both of my babies will be celebrating a birthday next week.
Oh I know it's soon to wish them well but I have a few moments of quiet and I couldn't help myself.
Alex will be 12 and Kalven will be 1! Both on the 10th! I know what are the odds! Alex is cool with it now, though I know at the time she was upset. She did think if we have another one on the 10th of Sept. that would be weird. Of course she also believes Kalven is her mini minion since he was born on her birthday! LOL!

It is so wild to remember being preggers at this time last year. Dealing with enema's, making batches of Labor cookies, rubbing Castor Oil, Evening Primrose Oil on my private parts to induce labor naturally. We had the tub set up for the "Home birth" I wanted to have. Things don't always turn out the way we want them!

Funny thing is Alex herself was a baby that just didn't want to come down and join the world too! I never experienced a true labor in any of my 4 births. Weird huh? Sorry for rambling, but feeling sentimental.

We will be celebrating they're birthday's a bit early. Terry has been away for sometime and this will be a homecoming for him for the Labor Day weekend. Pretty excited all around!

See who's walking!

Guess who's walking! TEEHEE! WAHOO! Of course in a few weeks I'll be more tired then I am now. LOL! And busy running after him! Just had to share!

No posts! Happy Easter!

Oh! I'm slacking, well not really! Honest! I have been in such a funk lately! I plan on picking up my glue gun and glitter usually makes me smile, but not right now. Depression? Just feeling under the weather? Gray skies maybe?

I have been busy here and there, even on the inside I feel like tossing the covers over my head and staying put for days. Not like me. I'm just not myself...

In the mean time I created humbledheartcreation.blogspot.com and littlecriesandlullabies.blogspot.com in addition to this blog and my hopewhentherewasnone.blogspot.com. WHEW! Now keeping all these up will be something! I decided not to sweat getting to them everyday or weekly. When I started I was psyched and I was receiving emails that were encouraging as well as making me feel slightly pressured to make something everyday or weekly.  The spark was dimming... And Etsy! I opened my shop on Etsy! I did have some sales but I have a bunch to post, I need to get busy doing that...

I need to be me, create when I want to and what I want to. I'm up for a challenge but don't want to feel the crunch of a deadline to get into some blogs hop or made it or copy this. I have a house to clean, a 7 month old (who still doesn't sleep through the night), job searching, a few interviews sprinkled in, reading up on Divorce law/Domestic Abuse topics for court, making dinner, lunch and all that other happy nonesense that comes with being a Mom.

I run around looking from time to time for my Secret Pal gifts (church/monthly), then I recently volunteered to put together some type of craft for Mother Daughter banquest soon. OH! Did I forget I have to make food for that? YIKES! Thank goodness I have another week! I have the Fairhaven Walk for Domestic Violence prevention on the following Saturday and now that Terry is back to work, I may need to find a lift for the event.

If I do get a job can I find a sitter? SIGH!  I still don't have a car to get around.Can I make these 2 new businesses work for me instead? I know that is a yes, I just have to get out there. Which leads me to me doubting myself. Which makes me procrastinate more... I did order business cards for my Doula business so I'm making tiny baby steps (No pun).

I guess I'm feeling overwhelmed! My P90X workouts, even though once a day for an hour seems too long. I haven't been eating as I should. I'm looking for a bigger place for us, the girls want they're own rooms, but it has to be far enough (within 100 miles) from STBX. I'm happy we haven't heard from him.

Gosh I feel like I'm whining!  We have our health, we have food in the fridge, we have a roof over our heads, we have one another to lean on and we have all that we need is provided. God has been good, I have worries and I should embrace them. I should feel that I have so many needs already met that I take foregranted and I should feel faith that it will get better. I need to look ahead and stop looking down or behind me...

Lord give me strength and maybe some cheese with my whine...

Feeling fuzzy and dreary

I think it's the weather but I'm pretty bummed lately, could be Mercury or some other planet is in retrograde or that maybe I am just super consumed with worries. Court with STBX, or police investigation for STBX not going anywhere or news our son (M) is having more seizures again and there is nothing I can do to help because of STBX. (*see my story on my other blog) 

On the bright side I did start Etsy and made a few bucks! I have 2 job leads and an interview on Thursday! I am still working out on P90X! I have just started Week 4, I actually thought of doing doubles of the workout or incorporating an older workout~ Yoga, booty, ballet, Turbojam or Walking with Lesile Sansone. But, I am so pooped after the P90X workout I don't see me doing it right now. I was planning on doing some glittering today but we will see, feeling kind of humdrum...

Day 9 P90X!

YEA ME! I can't believe I made it through week one! LOL! BOOYEA! I notice a difference already! My diet can use some polishing up. I am thrilled to actually feel really good right now. I do feel really tired though. I talked to someone on a P90x board that says I may not be eating enough! YIKES! I am still nursing so my calories are being eaten up with that, and that could be leading me to feeling sluggish and tired. Of course I am hungrier then I am nursing! What's up with that! I'm pretty happy with myself!

I am drinking water, water, water and running to the bathroom on a regulary basis. That's all fine with me! I have been neglecting both my crafts and I'm afraid I have been pushing off posting anywhere to make a $. I am in the process of divorce (I mentioned in previous blog post) with an Emergency hearing super soon! Needless to say this has me in a tizzy and flurry of phone calls, emails and searching the web for support and help. I am in a dire need of a glue stick and glitter break!

Little one is growing like a weed! Can you say "Army crawl?" Hold on to your butts, little one has gone mobile! LOL! If he is not rolling, he's army crawling! It's funny of course all the fun begins now! He is sitting on his own accord now as well, much to the delight of my sister that came to visit us last Saturday. She was just tickled pink!

So my P.O.A. tomorrow is to do some sort of craft and I will post pictures! I was working on some Mod Podging words on rocks that we found on the lake last year. With a dash of glitter of course! I may do something this evening I know it's late but I am finding it hard to sleep. Off for now!

Our chunky monkey is on the move!

Who would have thought that at 39 I would be going through the pregnancy stage again? Oh gosh I had wanted more kids for the longest time! I just had to find the right guy! Long story visit my other blog for that Jerry Springer saga.

Here's me about 8 months along...

Our chunky monkey came into the world on       Sept 10, 2011. He shares this day with his big sister, Alex! He was 8 lbs and 2 oz

Proud Daddy with Kalven!

Alex (11), sitting down with a goofy grin, Jess (12) is standing.

Our little guy at home a few days later!













My how time has flown by! He is now a little over 4 months old and is turning over quite well. He pushes himself around abit with his feet. He has discovered his toes and loves checking out his hands. It seems like a lifetime ago when the girls and my older son were at this stage. It goes by so quick! He should be up and around in the next few months. Oh boy I am so not ready for that!

I was going to start working out again (P90x first time using this). But I am feeling so cruddy! I even thought of picking up my glue gun but I just can't motivate myself to do much more today. SIGH! I need all the energy for chasing little one around in a few months! Plus we have been invited to a wedding in June. I hear a new dress calling!

The incredible journey of me!

Repost from 6/24/2010

You've come a long way Baby!

This has path has been filled with many up's and down's! I can not believe how far me/we have come. Now I am not making millions or anything like that, but my life is so much richer now then it ever has been before. The chances to start over or to start life is amazing. Happiness comes along when one least expects it. I see now taking a chance is a wonderful thing.

I've stopped on a few occassions to stop the pity party just to open my eyes and thank God for the wonderful things happening in my life and the wonderful people placed in my life!

The little one that neither of us planned has been a very wonderful blessing!

The Lady's at work blessed me with a baby shower!

Judy, Lynda, Lisa, Suzanne, Christina, Sandy and Lauren has given me wonderful baby things!

I've gotten some sage advice and support from many new positive people I have met over the past year... My 2 sisters, Peggy, Babe, Kim, Sue, Kristy, Lisa, Terry D., Roberta, Beth, Lynda, Brian,Lesile, Michelle, Laura, Will and countless others!

I have been blessed with a man that loves me and the girls to pieces! Without him I don't know where I would be. I wasn't looking for a relationship at the time but boy oh boy, God loves to throw you a good thing when you are least looking for it! I did do 10 wishes and I will be darned if I didn't get 2 of them sooner then expected. And he puts with alot of crap, the divorce and death threats, the girls, temper tantrums (that's me! LOL!). Thank you my Love!

The world is my oyster! Through the dark clouds there are silver linings, oh I still stumble, I still am haunted in some ways by memories, but Terry noticed they are getting fewer apart. No more crying out or wimpering in the middle of the night (I didn't realize I did that!). My panic attacks are much better, I do have times when I do still feel sorry for myself. Especially now due to my growing belly!

The girls are so much better now then they were a year ago! Alex is such a ham and Jess is working on not mothering so much. We gave her an order to just be a kid and she learning to do so. Both seem to be working on their memories as well but they each handle them differently. They miss their brother and I do too, but that is still not safe for myself and Terry. I pray about this relationship between the 3 of us. I know it would be a very long time before we can trust him.

School has been a blessing as I am realizing I am doing ok. I had reservations about going back but I am excited and can not wait for school to end so I can find something I want to do. I am excited as well about becoming a Doula! I've always loved to fly by the seat of my pants!

The issue of Domestic Violence is still a strong thing in my life and voicing it to others will more then likely be something I will advocate for a long time! Reaching out to others that were in a bad relationship even if it is just for coffee will be something I enjoy doing. Though lately I am afraid I need to catch up with someone!

Thank you all for your kindness, kind words and the support!

I have done so many things in this short period of time. I've been able to stop and look at things around me and just say thanks Lord for all I have and for his protection, strength and grace and I know He is walking with me!