We had babies... Chicks that is!

Great googly moogly! Wee balls of fuzz invaded Godsbreath Farm! Both from a new incubator and we duck sat for JV. 

We bought a new incubator. Our Brinsea Mini decided it didn't want to work anymore. So we made the big choice to snag a new one from our local TSC. 

I didn't check reviews of this, Harris Farms Nurture Right 360- ($135.00)  but we love it! We choose the one that holds 22 eggs, it has a self-turner, a built-in candler, thermometer, counts down to hatch time, external water pot for easy adding, and auto stop for hatching 3 days before! 

I don't get kickbacks from this but if you are looking for to hatch your own consider this incubator. :) I plan to hatch out some ducks and another batch of chicks starting next week to send to the animal auction. We may keep some of the ducks and send our older crew to the pot. It's not engraved in stone but it's a possibility for the Fall. 


JV's Motley Crew will be going back to her homestead. I may ask if I can keep a few. Our guests are Pekin, Khaki Campbell, and Rouen ducks. They are so cute, but the old battalion is having a hard time adjusting to them. Our male Pekin keeps picking on her and they seem messier than our four. I would still love to find some Indian Runners. I think those would complete our duck adventure! 

We found these last week- 

The is technical name for it and the shorter a name,"Stinkhorn" mushroom. There are other nicknames for it too.

The brown slime on the top attracts all kinds of ants, flying insects, and the like. I haven't smelled them, but I have read that they are smelly like rotting meat. EW, right?! I found them in our mulch. It's not that uncommon. If you handle them you are to wash your hands right away. I'm not planning on doing so or frying them up. (They aren't poisonous.)

My second hive is doing well. WHEW! I was worried after the first one died after a week. The place where we got them called me back after I told them what happened and I never heard back. I do have to try to reach out to them again next week to figure out what the heck happened. 

Our garden is growing well. I attempted to give it a boost by making some compost tea. The results are still out on this one. The darned Japanese Beetles are back, but this time we have the traps out sooner. We feed the bugs to the chickens and ducks... Free food!

 Now before you ask about the statues. I have no idea what came over my fascination with religious statues. I have no clue! No, I haven't turned away from Christianity or joined a different religion. They just tickle me. No worshipping these are necessary. Don't ask for more because there is no more. (BIG GRIN!)

What else is new? I began a book tour for my memoir, "Call me Master" and how I healed, "Rising from the Ashes". I also wrote a short guidebook, "Old Stuff & Dusty Treasures, for someone that wanted to jump into the world of antiques. I was tickled to find someone in Great Britain bought one! So now I'm an International Author! YAY!

Sharing my story has brought a whirlwind of wonderful opportunities for me to inspire someone that is trapped in an abusive situation or perhaps that just left. 

More about that on my other blog- Hope when there was none, you can also find information on where I'll be next on my book tour, speaking engagements, podcasts, and more!

So, let's talk about health. If you're new here, I have been battling Lyme dis-ease for well over 12+ years. I was infected by one Spider in 2007, another Spider in 2015, and once more in 2017 by a Mosquito. Yep, I'm fun to have around! 

You may be scratching your head about this because you have been told you can only get Lyme from Ticks or they aren't in Indiana or I am mistaken since Tick Nymphs are so teeny. 

Well, my Friend, Spider one- I found that the next morning after I rolled on it in the night and it tried to defend itself by biting my hip. I had the Lyme Flu the next day. Spider two was memorable because I felt the bite on my thigh. And within hours I had the Lyme Flu.

The mosquito bite? Yes, on my hip AGAIN but in a different area. Within hours it developed a funky look but I didn't get the Flu that time. 

Why didn't I go to the ER? With my first bite, I did. I was reassured that I was having a negative reaction to that type of spider and I would be okay. They gave me some Benadryl and Cortisone and sent me on my way. For subsequent episodes, I figured the same. SIGH!

I have been feeling all weird again. Irregular heartbeat, Air hunger, Vertigo, increasing Migraines, feeling hungry all the time even after eating, I gained weight (Despite trying Keto, Juicing, No whites and just laying off the carbs), and I was exhausted again. I was beginning to sleep all the time. There were more symptoms creeping back.

I was planning out my last moments again. Yes, it was getting "that bad". I didn't want to put it all out there. I smile. I try not to complain too much.  Jessica, my eldest was begging me to stop talking about my funeral on several occasions. The rest of my family was doing the same. 

Since the great knee incident, I feel as though I wanted to seclude myself. In some ways, I was feeling sorry for myself and like a burden to my family. Trust me I was praying, doing my affirmations, and vision board. My health is nowhere as poor as many chronic Lyme Warriors, but there are negative thoughts that pass through your mind. Luckily, we met Amber and Matt. She raises chickens, ducks, and goats. Mr. Awesome answered an ad about some rare breeds and we had the chance to buy new wee babies. Amber and I struck up a conversation and found out that we had Lyme in common. She alerted me about changes in the laws for Indiana. Mr. Awesome said to get my butt in to see if our favorite doctor can help. I am forever grateful for that meeting!

I went earlier this week. We discussed the possibility that my thyroid was burning green wood rather then seasoned wood. There's more to that but you get the jist. He ordered blood work, and a neato test to find out what medications and such will work for my body. He received the results yesterday and as suspected I was burning green wood. What this meant was a 45 day trial of a medication to give me a boost. He called in the prescription and within a half hour I was on my way to pick it up. I popped one and I gotta tell you, Mr. Awesome and I noticed a difference within an hour!

Today has been amazing! I slept through the night well. I haven't felt the need to take nap. I have more energy and feel good. It's been so long that I admit I'm waiting to see what happens tomorrow. In this short period of time I have chatted with another Lyme Warrior and she has been a wealth of information about Parasites! 

Tomorrow I do have a book signing at Somethin's Brewin Coffee

 Shop & Cafe at ReChic Unique Boutique in Demotte, IN from 1:00 P. M. to 3:00 P. M. I can't wait!


I am feeling blessed at this positive change in my body. I'll keep you updated. 

What's next? If my health continues then that bike across America may be in the works. 

Whatever your journey, I hope that it is blessed and wonderful! Have a great weekend! Talk to you soon!

Much love and BIG HUGS,
Mel

P.S.- If you know someone that is being abused or you suspect they may be. Contact your local law enforcement or shelter. You can also find a great deal of information here-www.thehotline.org

Someone I think you should know- Tammy Szostek

I run into the most courageous people. They don't realize what an impact they have made upon me. Every single one of them! Some I have met once, others I've known for years, and many I have yet to meet. 

Everyone has a struggle, big dreams or a goal they are going for. Sadly, Tammy's story is like the many other stories I have heard from those suffering from chronic illness. 

We met at a Lyme Dis-ease meeting. I admired her moxie to keep going even though you could tell she was clearly hurting. She finds time to volunteer in the community, spend time with family, and still keep a smile on her face.  

I hope you see the fierce light that I first saw in Tammy through this post. 

****************************

Hi Tammy! Can you tell me about when you noticed something was not quite right with your health?

Tammy says, "I noticed about 12 years ago! I seemed to be always sick and weird things started happening. I started having seizures out of the blue. My one kidney just stopped working and Dr's couldn't figure it out."

So, at what point did you decide, "Ok, I'm really sick and just not getting any better by the advice of my doctor and need to try something different."

She shares, "I guess when I had my first stroke I knew something was wrong. The Dr's once again couldn't figure any of this out. I was starting to have worse seizures. But I was faking it all according to the Dr's"

I asked her how has her health challenges impacted daily life/work/activities. Not hesitating, Tammy confides, "It has stopped me from living! I can't drive with uncontrolled seizures. I never feel well enough to go out. I have turned into a hermit. My husband has to force me out of the house. I can't work because I can't drive there and people don't like to hire epileptics although they wouldn't say that's the reason."

Can you tell me about how your views on how current medical treatments and medication changed?

She answers emotionally, "I have given up on treatment. My body has stopped absorbing everything medications and vitamins. So, the Dr tells me there is no point in taking it. I'm basically just being monitored at this point. They say, I'll be lucky if I'm still alive 7 years from now."

When asked at what point has she become frustrated with the medical community, she answered, "I'm frustrated everyday that I am suffering everyday as well as, many others because we can't get proper diagnosis and proper treatment."

So, Tammy was there a moment when you had to step back and laugh for a change otherwise you would cry?

She said that on most days she does.

When asked if what kind of support or feedback during her journey she says, "Mostly positive I have a very supportive husband and sister. Some don't understand. Like one day I can walk just fine another day I need assistance. I've heard the whispers and nasty comments."

Personally, I have heard many interesting and wacky remedies, what is the most interesting or memorable remedy you tried in hopes of healing and did it work or fail for you? 

She recalls, "I ordered something from England. I can't remember what it was called. But, it didn't work. There was a wacky diet where I could basically eat nothing and I still gained 130 lbs. I have since lost that weight. In a year and a half I've lost 160 lbs. Again, no one can figure out why."

When she needs strength she turns to God.

She continues to share that the dynamic in her home has changed since her health challenges began. "It makes me feel like a bad wife at times. My husband comes home from working hard long hours and I don't have dinner cooked or house the cleaned. I feel horrible because he deserves so much better."

Tammy, if you could change one thing in the medical community in regard to the challenges of being a patient what would that be? 

She responds, "Fair treatment and make them believe in Lyme"

Looking back on your health journey what advice would you give to someone just beginning to look for answers on their path? Tammy urges others to, "Don't let Dr's bully you. Fight for treatment with all you have! Don't take no for an answer."

A favorite quote or motto she has is, "I still got a lot of fight in me. Or from, Philippians 4:13: I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

If you have questions or just want to send a virtual hug to Tammy, she can be reached by tamtamleigh@gmail.com or phone 219-895-1334.
email 

Someone I think you should know- Taylor Schwabe

In 2015 I received the most joyous news... I had Lyme Dis-ease. Why was there joy? That diagnosis opened the doorway for years of unanswered questions I had about my health. I shared my woes and such on social media such as I do with my abuse survival story. 



I was excited to have LymeLight Stories reach out to me to do an interview about my story! After my story ran I connected with the courageous leader, Taylor Schwabe. Seeing her as a Hero for spreading awareness as well as her own personal battle led me to find out what 'Her' story is. 

She is kindly opening up to share an intimate peek into her life with overcoming Lyme. I hope you glean wisdom and know you are not alone in 'your' journey.


Hi Taylor! So, tell me about when you noticed something was not quite right with your health.

"The most severe symptoms began in 2014 while I was in college (although looking back now, I was bitten by several ticks at a young age and had minor symptoms throughout the years). After finishing class one day, I started experiencing a sharp, stabbing sensation in my chest. It was very painful, like a knife, whenever I took an inhale - and no matter how I positioned myself, it didn’t subside. At urgent care, they could not find anything wrong based on a chest x-ray and EKG. 

More symptoms continued to pile on in the following weeks: I started to get neuropathy in different parts of my body (like tingling & pins-and-needles). My hearing started to decrease and the GI issues, fatigue, and joint pain worsened...the sharp chest pain persisted with every inhale - Along with this, I developed the sensation of being unable to catch a full breath (called “air hunger”). Every day since then, I have been struggling with these symptoms and working hard to heal. "

At what point did you decide, "Ok, I'm really sick and just not getting any better by the advice of my

doctor and need to try something different."

Taylor recalls, "After things took a turn for the worse, I saw many different health providers (MDs, naturopaths, alternative health practitioners) over the course of a year... No one was able to give me a concrete diagnosis nor did I experience any relief from their therapies. Like many in the chronic illness community, I was told that my symptoms were due to being "over-stressed" and that they were "in my head."  

After nearly a year with no explanation and no end in sight for these terrible symptoms, I was feeling pretty hopeless. This was when two friends (separately) suggested that I look into chronic Lyme Disease. After researching the symptoms of chronic Lyme and discovering that false negatives are common with conventional testing, I decided to see a Lyme specialist, which was when I was diagnosed with chronic Lyme, Babesiosis, and Bartonella."

Taylor, I know there are so many remedies and wacky treatments out in the world. What is the weirdest you tried and did it work?

She says, "Some of the treatments I’ve tried are pretty "out there". Over the past few years I’ve experimented with a wide variety of therapies - everything from antibiotics to shamans, from placing giant magnets over my organs to being zapped with lasers and electromagnetic machines, from western modalities to eastern modalities, and everything in between... One of the weirder treatments I received was when a practitioner rebalanced my Yin & Yang energies by waving an antenna (with green/red lasers) over several of my chakra points...I can't say I noticed a benefit from that one!"

When asked if she could change "1" thing in the medical community in regard to the challenges of being a patient she answered, "I left many appointments feeling vulnerable, alone, and unheard. There have been many times where I felt that my visits were rushed - I didn't have time to ask questions because there was pressure for the provider to hurry into the next room for a different patient. I wish that all providers genuinely wanted to do medicine in order to help people heal - and that healing would be more of a lifestyle for those who choose health professions, instead of merely a way to make a living. I feel fortunate to have found a few providers who truly live to heal others as best they can - when you’re with them, you feel hopeful and you know you are heard...wish there were more like this!"

Taylor is super excited that she is beginning to see with a Lyme-savvy neurologist and this has made her hopeful about future treatments... She happily adds that she is also moving soon - back to a place that she loves!

I asked if there was a ritual, object or tool can she not live without or that she must use everyday even it isn't health related. 

She responded, "Meditation (at one of my outdoor "hideout" spots) has been an important ritual for recovery. Also, going for a drive with some of my favorite albums turned up really loud has been a good release. 😄"

How has the dynamic at home and or work changed since you have had your health challenges?

"I’ve had to decline several professional opportunities due to my health... which has been frustrating, especially considering my age (23). This is a time when I want to be focusing my energy on building a career and having fun, not trying to recover from disease. During the past few years, there have been periods that I was able to work full-time, periods when I could only handle part-time work, and periods when I could not work at all because the symptoms became too debilitating.

I am lucky that my immediate family has been supportive, as well as many close friends. Even with an amazing support system, it can still be very isolating - No one else knows exactly how much pain you might be experiencing at any given time, and you don't always want to explain how it feels to others, especially because it might make them feel bad. We can't expect family and friends to understand what it feels like to live with these symptoms day in and day out but, it makes a huge difference to surround yourself with people who appreciate the seriousness of this condition and who want to walk through this challenge with you." 

Taylor, could you tell me how the idea for LymeLight Stories come about? 

She replied, "LymeLight Stories" has been a fun, small side-project that came about because I was starting to connect with so many other Lyme patients. I was amazed by the similarities of our stories, particularly with the challenging and long diagnostic process. I thought that having a platform where I could share other Lyme patients' experiences would build awareness of the fact that late-stage Lyme can mimic many other conditions and that receiving a diagnosis can be extremely difficult."

When asked about a favorite quote or motto she has, she says her favorite quote is: "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”  ~ Viktor Frankl

I asked her what hobbies she enjoys, she says, "Anything outdoors...especially hiking & skiing when I can. Music, too - piano, guitar, mostly."

Taylor, looking back on your health journey what advice would you give to someone just beginning to look for answers on their path?

"Recovering from chronic illness is complex, multi-layered, and very unique to each person. What works for one person may not work for the next. Antibiotics may help some people with chronic Lyme, and they may not be the right path for others. People are quick to give you their opinion on the best treatment to do. There is not a lot of gentleness when people talk about “miracle cures” and what worked to get them to “remission.” It’s great to talk with other patients and learn about all of the different treatments, but bear in mind that the same thing that worked for “Bobby Sue” may not work the same for you!

Just as people love to tell you what to do, people are also quick to tell you what NOT to do. There will be advocates and naysayers for any direction you choose. I’ve had people tell me that antibiotics are a bad idea and others tell me that alternative therapies wouldn’t work - ultimately, it may be a lot of trial-and-error until you find what works best for you. One cool thing about all of this is that you will likely build a communication with your body. You'll be able to better tune into what causes you to feel different, for better or worse, whether it’s a medication, supplement, or food. This awareness can be a useful guide to help navigate treatment. 

It would be great if there were one silver bullet for everyone - but everyone has a different set of puzzle pieces to work with. Besides the tick/vector-borne infections, you may also have to address other factors - like heavy metal/environmental toxicity, mold toxins, parasites, yeast, viruses, other pathogens, immune/hormonal imbalances, among other things...

I wish I had taken detox methods more seriously at the beginning of my journey - I didn't appreciate how important it is to get the toxins out to best support your body as it fights off all of the infections. There is a lot of good information online about different ways to detox for chronic illness. Also, talking to others with chronic illness and chronic Lyme (whether that's in a support group, online, at your doctor's office, or any other way) can be very rewarding - sometimes the best therapy is connecting with people who really "get it." 

As difficult as it is to be fighting for your health and getting through the days with debilitating symptoms, illness brings a lot of lessons and ways to grow. Lessons of awareness, of finding balance and self-compassion, of disengaging from the ego, and of letting go. Healing is an opportunity to get to know yourself better, too.

Something that helps me get through the hardest days is reminding myself that there is meaning in the suffering - Pain can be turned into purpose, as we can use this experience to relate to and help others going through their own challenges." 

For more information or to just give a little virtual hug to Taylor reach her at-schwabe24@gmail.com. LymeLight Stories for inspirational stories. 

Is Winter over yet?

I would wager to say this has to be the coldest Winter in a very LONG time!

Being homebound has given me a bit of a cabin fever. I did get out over the past two weekends. Short trips into the nearby town. I got pretty pooped pretty fast. I'll find out later this week what is the story about my knee. (If I need surgery) The results show ligament tears, cartilage damage and my MCL has a tear. I'm still hobbling around on my crutches. This is week 7 and I was hoping for more mobility. I think I'm pushing myself too hard.

The rest of this Winter has not been uneventful!

Sadly, we have lost 3 hens due to the cold and 1 hen from an Owl. Right now we have 5 Ducks and 8 Chickens, including our Roo.  Our hope is to make or buy an incubator to hatch more. Or hit the farm auction in a few months for wee ones.

Our neighbor was wonderful to plow us out a few times! The pipes in the bathroom froze on two occasions. We were without propane twice, once due to running out, the company didn't come out in time to fill us and the other was due to the blower going out.

I've been pounding away on my second book. YAY me!

Homeschooling has been fun, but yet challenging. Mini Man is more of  Kinesthetic learner- meaning he learns much better through physical actions then me yammering on about different subjects.

My wonderful Sister came out for a visit a few weeks back. It was a lovely time! I twisted her arm to do a Vision Board. She brought Zucchini that was super yummy. Mini Man and my adorable Nephew played Nerf guns and ran around like mad men.

We're still doing garden planning and other house projects. I say, "We" but I really mean Mr. Awesome. I kind of just supervise from the couch. But I did treat myself to some nifty photo boxes that I am using for my seed storage. SWOON! I love how they look in them! Most of the seeds are ones I have collected from the previous years harvest. I do have a bit older and plan to test them to see if they are still viable before planting.




So, we burn our paper out in a burn barrel. Peanut is in charge of this task. Well... It was a bit breezy on Saturday when she tackled this project. Sure enough a ember flew out and WHOOSH! She came running in the house yelling for Mr. Awesome that the field was on fire. YIKES!






He ran outside and I hobbled to the back door to catch a few pictures. The event took about a half hour. Both of them were pretty tired when they got back in. We had planned on doing a bit of a small burn to hit the Thistles that are crazy in the meadow. So in a way it works out?






It was so nice outside yesterday we went to church! It's been ages and I missed going. The weather was also nice enough that Mr. Awesome grabbed chairs and I was able to ground myself.

I also got a chance to see some bee's flying and our other critters having a run around the yard.

Besides my knee, the Lyme has been flaring fierce. The upcoming supermoon is definitely making my body wonky. Creepy crawly, migraine, body pains and just all around feeling crappy.

I am putting in paperwork for Disability. It's my 4th round of doing so. This time I received a notice in the mail that my health provider considers my health medically frail and that I should consider filing for disability. I'm torn. I want to beat this. The flip side is that Lyme will never completely go away. It will hide (remission) until something causes it to rear its ugly head again. I don't wish to call myself disabled. That makes me feel defeated. Does that make sense? I do need to jump back on the fitness wagon by cutting out the sugar, carbs and other inflammatory things. I know I'll feel better. On the flipside I hate to burden my family with added special foods for groceries. I haven't cooked too much since the great knee incident. Convenience prepacked foods have been in the house. Where is Spring? Maybe that will help my mood.

So how is your Winter looking?

Hope your day is great!

BIG HUGS!
Mel

Great Scott! There are a ton of weeds!

My poor garden! It looks like a jungle! With all the rain we had a few weeks back it is now pretty overgrown and we are just starting the season. My mulch pile has dwindled and I may call around to local tree trimming groups again to see if someone takes pity on me.

I'm happy to report I planted about 45ish Sunflowers, Jalapeno's, Green Pepper plants, more Garlic, Zucchini, Chamomile, and Marjoram.

Found my herbs in the weeds doing well except- Basil, Dill and Stevia. Dang Rabbit has been nibbling on that and at least 15 of the Sunflowers I just planted yesterday! WAH! It ate my poppies seedlings too!

We have tried a bit of natural deterrents but haven't had a lot of luck. I'll keep scouring the web. I did find some more not so organic determent's but really want keep our garden as spray free as possible.

Farm fail include that rabbit eating our plants, a new chick died, a bunch of baby bunnies we yanked out of the yard were eaten by a Raccoon which was caught and is not with us anymore. On the plus side we did gain a new Rooster! Despite my no naming the animals policy this guy seemed like a Fred.  Cocky Locky my Banty is not doing so good. Much to my dismay I'm quite sure he is on the verge of passing away. He really isn't eating and rarely comes out of "The Abbey". We do have a broody hen and she has taken to stuff duck eggs to sit on. I'm pretty stoked about it and we will see what happens!

My Mom blessed us with several bunches of perennials that will perk up next year. I was also given a bunch from Mom's neighbor that I have yet to plant.

Speaking of which we went over to help Mom and Dad open their pool and did some minor things around their house. We hope to get over there a lot more often to help. Dad is doing much better and is happy to drive again. He's getting a bit agitated that he isn't getting around like he used to. He does need to get some dental work and a knee replacement and hopes for find out when he can get the okay to do so.

A few weeks back we also took time to see some wonderful kite flying at Fair Oaks Farm called Fair in the Air. They were a wonderful sight to see and are HUGE! Some of them are 20 Ft+! Wish I had a better camera or phone these pictures do not give the event any justice. We just stayed to watch for a bit and had a good time.

Mr. Awesome has been keeping himself busy with minor roof repairs, building projects, organizing, learning how to fix Carburetors, and aspiring to make cool stuff with Blacksmith.

I have been doing what I feel is the bare minimum and not for the lack of trying. I'm just so stinking tired. I did make a Plantain/Comfrey Salve, drying Lavender, Cilantro, Peppermint, Sage (Making Smudge sticks), editing my book (Slowly, it's been a challenge to revisit the memories), sleeping a lot, planting, weeding, studying my edible weeds in our yard, trying to figure out what is medicinal and added a Super to the beehive. I didn't participate in the last Flea market because I felt the weather was too breezy and I wasn't feeling so good (Lyme).

Excited Peanut has her first job starting soon! I'm hoping this will help with her social anxieties and plan to discuss some supplements with the Amazing Jen that may help.

I picked up these pinwheels and a few pink flamingos that just tickled me! I know I'm a dork but I sometimes have things speak to me. Oh, not literally, it's one of those things that randomly calls out to you and just wants to go home with you. Not that you need them mind you. They make me smile!

 Here is the bee Super and hiding in the background is Is  won't be surprised if they don't become targets for my adventurous Dad and Son team of hunters. SIGH! It was much to Mr. Awesome's chagrin that I bid and won them.

I haven't been online a lot. Kind of taking a hiatus. This does mean I miss a bunch of events, family and friend updates. It's not that it is just social media but stepping away from the computer has been nice. I was feeling tied and riveted to reading statues, seeing bad news or celeb stuff. I'm being honest when I tell you I don't know many of the celebs now that includes musicians as well. I know I must be living under a rock. (And yes when 4/20 came around I didn't get the reference) I don't think I'm alone by doing this. I don't miss it either, though Pinterest and Instagram are still my favorites and if we do watch anything it's been on YouTube and Netflix (Anne with an E was wonderful!).

The upcoming week will be filled with more planting! Wish me luck! I hope your week is joyful and blessed.

Bees, bees, bees and more! *UPDATE!

I am super excited! We received a call that the bees were in on Saturday for pick up on Monday. I was tickled and anxious!

We chose to do a "No-shake" method for the bee install. We shall see if this worked well. The set up went well, though there was a bit of cursing from Mr. Awesome. I hadn't gotten some of the things ready which made it a bit more tense. I joked that next time I think I will do the installs from now on. He makes me more nervous because he is nervous.

We both had anxious butterflies beforehand. Me not having everything together was not my best idea. That added to the situation. I fly by the seat of my pants and think later... "Oh yeah! I should have...."

But what a great way to know someone really loves you when they are handling 10,000 bees! Gotta love that man! I'll check out whether the Queen broke free tomorrow or Wednesday.

We already had a big weekend gearing up for the 1st Flea market of the season for us to set up at.

Did I mention I am a terrrible procrastinator? I had to remind Mr. Awesome of a few projects I needed have done before Sunday. He jumped in with both feet of course I had forgotten that I needed to bake for a small contribution that needed to be delievered on Friday.

Glory be! My memory is not the greatest. I rely on post-it's, notes, writing on my hands, reminders on my Google Calendar, cell phone and a few other things. I say it's the Lyme but Mr. Awesome reminds me that it could also be my age.

So this weekend was busy!

This week is off to a busy start as well as we had  bee pick up today. I was invited to a Potluck later this week with The Amazing Jen, JV, a new friend and our wee monkeys. I'm pretty excited. I don't have close friends. Not meaning to sound pitiful or sad. It just seems the older I get the harder it is to find and keep friendships. Several of my friends and family are busy, live in other parts of the world or work.

I was also tickled to see my parents, sister and nephew at the flea market! They don't live too far away but it's hard to visit as much as I would love to.

Speaking of the flea market... It went very well! I sold off all of my Spider plants and Peppermint. Almost all of our large items, a variety of smalls and Dreamcatchers.

I hope to have more varieties of plants/veggies and another batch of Dreamcatchers. I had some wood
sign projects in mind for over the winter but I never got around to it. That nasty procrastination thing again!

We added 4 Amberlink chicks that are 4 weeks old. I am still mourning the death of my incubator. I really wanted to give the Duck eggs a whirl.

I haven't done much in the garden, the past few weeks though busy have been very tiring for me. I have finished a course of Doxy and now wait to schedule an appointment with my favorite doctor. Darned tax refund! It's been singled out apparently to research and recheck.

More garden progress:

Garlic is doing very well outside. The Asparagus has given us a sides on the side and continuous to grow wonderfully. I bought a few more Blueberry bushes from the flea market, have quite a few other plants ready to go into the garden soon! I do have to replace the seed starts I lost to that dang bunny.

That's all for now! I hope your week is as wonderful as you are!

BIG HUGS!
Mel

**UPDATE!**
This morning Mr. Awesome and I made the decision to check on the bees before I left for work. I was concerned over the events from the morning before. I asked my partner in crime if he was going to suit up or at least wear his veil. He smartly replied, "Nope! I'm just going to run away if I need to!"

GIGGLE!

I on the other hand wish to leave nothing to chance and suited up. He had gotten our frames, flashlight, brush and sugar water ready.

I admit both of us are nervous to do beekeeping. I wanted to do this for a variety of reasons.

1) To help do our part in saving the bees!

2) For honey and wax for candles, lotions, and more

3) Potentially for Bee Venom Therapy for treating my Lyme Disease

4) To conquer my fear of bees.

5) Help pollinating our crops                                                                                             

So I head out in awe he has gotten all this stuff ready. He is the most level headed, thoughtful, observant, quick thinking on his feet, and 2 steps ahead of me person I have ever known. I'm more, "Look something shiny!" or "Look there's a Chicken" kind of person.

We start.

I'm using slow movements and trying not to talk too much. He is not being bossy about it but trying to be helpful while also being noticeably nervous.

As we explore the hive I see the Queen cage has dropped to the bottom of the hive and now we understand why there was a cluster (bearding kind of activity) under the hive! They were doing exactly what they needed for the Queen.

I attempted to get grip on the Queen box while causing the bees to become a wee bit worried that I was harming their Queen. The gloves I wore aren't big or thick and there are about 50 bees covering my fingers as I fumble with the Queen cage. He handed me the brush to try to shimmy the cage out with the handle of it but it just kept sliding. I could literally feel the bees on the bottom of the hive playing a tug of war with me to get her.

Mr. Awesome at this point is getting flustered and wondering why am I going so slow. I am too nervous to argue or explain my actions. My gloves are slickery from the over abundant sugar water that was sprayed to help with the ticked off bees.

Mr. Awesome had the great thought of using the safety pin I had pinned on the front of my suit to attach the tab that is on the Queen cage to the back of the hive, just under the top cover. I had a dickens of a time getting it open though. First I needed to get the other cork out and the remaining bees on the cage and my gloves were not still not working with me. At this point Mr. Awesome is reminding me we have the brush to use, which I had used as well to attempt to help get the Queen cage but it didn't exactly work as it had in my head and it's covered in impatient bees!

My partner in crime is attempting to keep me calm at the same time he is getting concerned I'm not working fast enough. I could hear my heart in my ears! I'm not calm. He had to help me get the pin off my suit and he realized that it's not as easy as it looked. His hands were just as slick from the sugar water, making this task harder then it looks. Finally he had gotten it off and attaching it worked like a charm!

We put everything back but didn't put in one frame having figured we had aggravated the bees enough for one day. I plan on removing the Queen cage and inserting the frame in a few days or week.

We only had 2 passenger bees try to hitch a ride on us. One I found on Mr. Awesome and one that took a trip attached to the bottom of my boot. this brave fuzzy bee was quickly escorted them out the door.

What a way to start the morning!

What's going on with this place?!

Mr Awesome has been keeping busy with various projects around the house and garden.

He staked out a pie shape for me to work on a Potager style garden! Worked on some electrical issues, put up trim in the kids rooms, worked on our mowers, took off the roosts from the old chicken coop, some plumbing fixes, moved several furniture pieces around the house and to the 
  barn and put up with me.

We had a visitor digging down under the front stairs so Mr. Awesome also threw more dirt down, added slate and I threw down some mulch in hopes of  deterring our visitor. We'll see if this helps!

We have an outlet outside! Hooray! All of these things are small projects to him but they add up in the grand scheme of things.

I did plant a few of my cool weather plants in, herbs, sowed flowers and more veggies! I have been busy working on more Dreamcatchers to bring to the upcoming Fleamarket! I did have 2 women offer to buy them all but they never followed through.

My Duck egg hatched is a dud! My incubator decided it's not going to work and gave itself up to ghost. So no chicks but a journey to the farm auction is a maybe. Mr. Awesome meant to go but things just keep popping up. 

I have been very off kilter, blame it on the moon or my cycle. I'm a mess! I felt like giving up the other day in regard to my health. I guess feeling a bit of despair and sorry for myself. I told Terry I feel just useless as a Wife and Mom right now. His reply is always tear jerking, super awesome, God I love this Man, sappiness and gushy.  

My memory is flaking out, my parts are hurting, I feel awfully tired, my visits to nap time are coming more frequent again, I am stumbling often and dare I say I'm fearful of being bedridden again.

I wrote a email to my family advising of some final wishes. Now I have no intentions of going anywhere soon but the feeling darkness was strong the last few weeks. I'm normally a happy-go-lucky Lady but something is not quite right.

I've went dark on some of my visits to Social Media land. Opting instead for something less news worthy... Instagram and Pinterest! I haven't chatted with anyone or visited anyone for a LONG TIME. While I feel a deep need to reconnect with my family, I am just too exhausted. Too tired to talk sometimes and how does that make sense? Even eating requires effort. Well not that much if you have seen me.  

I have opened some books I've been meaning to reed and started reading my Bible again. I need to journal and ground myself again, but felt it was a dire time to do some smudging. It's gotten to the point where I had to tell Mr. Awesome that he hasn't been so awesome (He's been a bit grumpier lately) and needs to find a job or something he can get out of the house to do. He is a stay-at-home Dad, unable to find work in his chosen profession and he considers his age, 59 years young to be a contributor of why he hasn't been able to find a position.

My job is fine. It is not rocket science. I meet wonderful people and it pays the bills. Though I managed to ask for a raise. I really don't want to go through the process of finding a new job or I may have to find another part-time one. But the hours are awesome! My side dream businesses are on the slow side leaving me to question my path/what I want to be when I grow up. 

With my brain fog I forgot to pay a few bills so now we are a bit behind. Our tax return has been in process for more then 6 weeks, despite it being electronically deposited. Grrface!

In all this I am reminded that I need to be grateful. I had a hug out of the blue from a co-worker, a compliment from a guest that came out of nowhere to serve a reminder to me that there are many folks in this world that are suffering, had a loss, unemployed, in poor health or without the joys I have right now. I feel selfish for my feelings. So smudging seemed appropriate to break the tension in CasaMel's. I did a YouTube of a few basic information, also the prayer I used, links to other negativity busting ideas and my Bible info! Find it here- Go Smudge yourself! Dang full moon...

I am picking myself up, dusting myself off, lift my eyes upward and a quit my whining. Well, at least for this month...

Ultimate fails on a Homestead

I don't always show the failures of this sustainable lifestyle. I admit I am still learning bunches about this.

Here's a bit of my garden experience:

I was trained as a Master Gardener what seems like years ago. I had a small grass cutting company I managed and ran. I wanted customers to have a better experience so I took the class out of U of I and loved it!

I was able to provide weed identification, applied fertilizers, potted plants and gave a few basic ideas for landscaping. But I didn't focus at that time on how valuable it was to feed the earth.

Fast forward to present, I can truly see how much more I could have given to my clients if I had seen the Permaculture/Sustainable/Biodiverse community at that time. I always had a heart for homesteading but didn't really know what it was until I met my 2nd Husband, Terry too had a interest in learning to live off the land someday.

We made the leap into homesteading after being apartment dwellers in 2011. We were blessed to rent a HUGE old hunt lodge that was off the Kankakee river- see some of those goings on here-Redrum hotel .

Now to get off track a little here is some info on Terry (A.K.A- Mr. Awesome) has a background with Radio/TV and as recent as a few year ago as an IT Specialist for FEMA. He was gone at least 8 months out of the year and I missed him. At the time of the change from the apartment to the hunt lodge he was gone. I did as much as I could by myself and when he could come home on the weekends, he would become a weekend warrior. But that was really heard on him and our relationship.

I missed him and made a deal that I would work so he could stay home. They money was definitely not anywhere what he was making but he was home.

During this time we started to make plans to open a B n B with antique shop inside. We were already hosting Barn sales that were building steam! We had people knocking on our door to ask when the next one would be.

We also toyed with the idea to have a small cafe that would serve tea, coffee, soups, sandwiches, and desserts. We were approached by the park service to host "Wild game dinners" this would be held a few times a year and cooked by the employees.

I wanted to host classes that covered: Hunting, Fishing, Cast iron cooking, Foraging in the backyard, Canning, Survival skills and First aid in emergency situations. Of course crafty type of classes featuring old and new skills. I had asked a small group of friends that are amazing with these skills to help us learn, connect us with others so we could make almost a fest out of it.

We were so EXCITED!  These plans came to a screeching halt when there were some changes to our handshake agreement with our rental company. Everything fell through.

We managed to be blessed a second time to find our forever home. Here we could raise the animals, garden as much we want, run naked if we wanted to. (Scary thought I know!)

So what does all this have to do with our fails and why share them?

This is kind of a "Do as I say not as I do" type of thing.

I don't think I was as prepared as I thought I would be to start raising animals, the garden took more time then I hoped, and I was battling exhaustion. (My teen helpers weren't always very helpful)

Canning had several mishaps. We lost dozens of jars due to someone who shall remain nameless
popping the caps on my jars before they were done. This person liked the sound it made while cooling. Some of my canning was mushy despite following directions. I have learned some things about that since then!

There are the bugs that infested our tomatoes so I lost almost the whole lot. The chickens that flew in and ate my herbs to nubs after being in the garden the whole day. Or the rows and rows of veggies that didn't come up or were damaged due to the weather. My water person didn't water for long enough or often enough and many plants died.

Living in old homes has it's charm but when it rains it could pour literally! There were some mold issues in our old place so bad the kids and I were miserable. Also that is the 2nd time I was infected with Lyme. Deer are pretty normal to see in the country, since living off the river it was a water source for Deer so ticks were all over. So were mosquitoes! We couldn't go out at times when they were too thick to make a run just to go to the car. And by the way it was either a mosquito or spider that infected me with Lyme.

We did fogging, DIY fan units, sprays, essential oils, keeping the lawn short, cutting down any old wood, dumping standing water and bug zappers. They were too intense.

Our new home also has some water issues, not as bad as our rental thank goodness. I have pots and containers strategically placed in our attic to collect water. The roof is a job that is not readily affordable at this time.

We knew the house was a challenge when we purchased it! We hope to barter, trade and work out some sort of agreement to help with repairs that may be a bit too large or not in Mr. Awesome expertise.

There are always cooking fails! The old joke when the smoke detector goes off food is done. I am notorious at forgetting (Brain fog darn you Lyme!) to put things in my recipes. Eggs or Butter are on my forgetful list. So you may have a brick for banana bread or the cookies just are a bit off. And we did splurge for a new oven that we realized later has to be leveled. Cakes usually come out lopsided.

We had the animal fails. I embarrassed and sad to say it was our error in many cases.

As an example, a friend had sexed a rabbit we had gotten from a animal auction. Our friend said it wasa Doe.

We should have double checked. But several weeks later much to our sad dismay Fluffy (an Angora rabbit) had babies. Unbeknownst to us at a time when we were taking apart the rabbit hutch so they were in a dog crate for temporary use on the ground.

Needless to say some of the babies wiggled out and ended up being food for hungry chickens. I felt awful! I heard a wee voice screaming and didn't know until too late what it was. We tried to save a remaining injured baby but it succumbed a few days later. 2 others did survive! They stayed by Momma and were safe and sound. (Pictured above) We no longer have them. We had planned to go across the country in a renovated School bus but ended up finding our forever home as well as becoming Grandparents for the first time. A few months later we found out we were going to be Grandparents a second time too!

There was time we ran an errand into town and left our dogs outside, chained to a in ground stake, while our chickens were ranging. Now I did ask Mr. Awesome to put the dogs in. But he figured we wouldn't be gone that long.

We came home quickly to a view of white puffy looking clouds on the grass. It looked like snow piles here and there in the grass. We jumped out of the car, quickly realizing the dogs were gone and something was horribly wrong with those piles!

Up bounded one of the dogs, Blue, with a white hen mustache in her mouth.

We had a flock of 12. Key word there is "had".

It appeared the Rooster, Combs, put up quite a fight. He seemed to die doing exactly what Roosters are supposed to do. Protect the Hens.

We were angry, sad and upset with each other and the dog. It took a lot of restraint for Terry not to take care of the dog with his pistol.

Of course the dog was just doing what part of her breed does. Hunt. They are part Lab/Australian Shepard.

We did find a good home for Blue as soon as we could and kept Vi. 

Vi has more of a Shepard in her and seems to herd our animals. Not that given the chance she won't eat wee one We closely monitor her whereabouts and never leave her alone with chicks or ducklings.

There is the great beehive disaster! Mr. Awesome built a really cool hive for our first set of bees. We made it through the Spring, Summer and Fall without injury. Buttoned up the hive for the winter and thought all was well. We had some freezing, warm and then freezing again with a sprinkle of icy rain. This lead to the wood on the hive expanding and cold rain getting into the hive. Which ultimately caused them to die. In case your wondering Mr. Awesome didn't think the hive needed the dovetails, which would have been more secure, maybe there would have been no lose of the hive. We did have about 5 lbs of wax and several jars of honey. 

We lost our Mason bees the placement was not the best at our new digs. They area had too much rain and wind. They re homed themselves.

We have lost Chickens, Ducks, Guinea Fowl, Quail, and Rabbits to:

Coyotes

Owls

Den of Foxes

Some large fish that devoured one of our 2 year old Ducks at our old house while she was swimming a week after a flood near the house.

Hawks

We have also lost these to other Chickens, Guinea Fowl, and Rabbits.How?!

Remember the pecking order? It is not uncommon for a flock to peck at a younger group brought in. They seem to know the weaker ones even if we don't. Chicks may climb all over a chick that is down, eventually killing it.

They may keep the odd one away from food and water. They may fight to the death. A momma Rabbit may not feed her litter. She may eat them, step on them, push them out of the nest and they freeze if they get too cold (if it's the Fall or Winter). Finding a half eaten baby is not something you will see me post on social media. But it's nature, it happens.

Even with our efforts to rescue these babies, it isn't always pretty or a happy ending.

A chick can end up with Splayed legs, notice down below. Even after binding this wee one up after this picture was taken. It was weak and died. I thought for a few days it was on the mend but I was wrong.

Then there were deaths that happened and we had no idea why they died. We found them in the cage/coop in the morning.

Now many of these things we could have prevented. Some things you can't. I have heard stories from other homesteaders/farmers that have dealt with larger animals deaths.

Sows that rolled on their babies, killing them.
Mother animals that walk away from their babies leaving them to fend for themselves.
Animals that die during birthing.
A group of people  bought a pregnant cow and though the cow was considered healthy she and the baby died overnight.
Animals that chocked on something too big for it.
Whole crops gone in an instant due to flood, tornado or fire.
Crops gone to severe insect infestations

While we have those moments of stupidity, anger or sadness; it is still beautiful to celebrate life, something green that we grew, and feeling grateful for a job well done. 

We have learned many valuable lessons that comes for caring for our animals. We have a roof over our head, food in the fridge, cars that run, love and support from friends and family.