2019 Homestead Goals!

Silly duck! I just gave them water in this
bowl and he decided it is time to bathe!

Finally! Spring is here! The Pussywillow tree has started to bloom, the trees are budding, and I've caught a few peeks of green coming from the ground as my perennials have decided to make an appearance! 
This time of the year has it dreaming of what we would like to get done around here. 

5 goals at this time in no particular order are:

1) More raised beds- These turned out to be invaluable for me last year. Both for ease of weeding, gathering, and so I didn't have to kneel too much.

2) Moving Lt. Dan the Wonder Goat out of the garden after we burn the prairie. Also, making his door opening a wee bit bigger. He has grown quite a bit since we got him.

3) Make a new portable coop/revamp the old one? This is still up on the air. In the meantime, Mr. Awesome make a poop board, move the roosts for more room for the girls, and we will have two separate entrances for the seasons(Alternating to give the grass time to come back).

4) Fix siding on house/scrape/paint house/put windows in back rooms.

5) Make temporary porch on the back of the house until we are ready to take back steps out.

I have been gathering my seeds and am anxious to start planting. Every year I end up planting too early. This year I didn't start crazy early. I have a handful started. I am planning on embracing Winter Sowing next season. 

I spurlged and bought a few bulbs of Dishplate Dahlia's and another type. These I will keep in the fenced in garden. It makes no sense to plant too many things around the house as I originally wanted to. Chickens don't care how carefully you organized and planted seeds and bulbs. For them they see you digging in the dirt and they are thinking, "Crazy Human is finding food for me!" or "Crazy Human is making a nice spot for me to dust bathe in!" I've thrown in the white flag and decided to keep the garden for pretty stuff. 

We (Do you like that "We"? What I mean is Mr. Awesome will...) work on the roof issues too. Terry was able to borrow a lift to fix the loss of the slate tiles on the roof. He patched on a side and will begin working his way around. There is hope we can borrow this for another week. It has been super windy or rainy. 

Rainy reminds me of getting stuck in the driveway. Yes, I got stuck! Not just a little stuck but "Holy moon pies! What did you do!".  It was a mess but thankfully Mr. Awesome was able to use the winch to get me out. Check my Instagram feed on the left side bar for a picture of the pit I made. Did I mention we need to have a load of rock delivered to help? 

When Terry came home his face was priceless. I was a bundle of nerves but that melted away when he saw how badly Randy was stuck (Yes, we name a lot of things around the house. Jess named Randy- it's her car. Honestly, we can't be the only people that name, "Stuff"!) 

Find me here-
amazon.com/author/melindakunst

I have been writing again and hope to have my fourth book ready for print before the end of the year. I'm really excited about this one. To be honest, this is going to be my favorite so far. If you haven't heard how we had gotten started our homesteading journey you will like this! The story is a mix of our homesteading adventures as city folks and a sprinkling of how doing this saved my sanity during hard times. Check out my Author page for updates and appearances- Melinda Kunst Author


There are more goals but these are the few we are talking are starting on now. What are you working on? 

Care to connect? Find us on FB God's Breath Farm. 

And don't forget to check out our YouTube channel Blessmeplease09 on YouTube! I've found several videos I had forgotten to upload and now we have 100+ multi-niche videos available! I believe I have another handful that needs to go up soon too. Betcha didn't know I'm a procrastinator. 

 

Perhaps you know a woman that is in emotional pain from loss, abuse, suicide, or depression please view my blog at www.hopewhentherewasnone.blogspot.com and I have a support group for women that you can connect with, find it on my FB page Hope when there was none

Rhett & Miz. Scarlett- Cayuga Ducks

Have a great day!

BIG HUGS!

Mel

Polar Vortex, damaging winds, and frozen combs

We are all so done with winter here! We survived the Polar Vortex! Temps fell to 46- here! I threw extra straw in the coops and Lt. Dan's house. I wrapped the Abbey (duck truck) with a bit of plastic and blue insulation sheet on the outside to help with the drafts. Believe it or not those chickens and ducks stayed out during that weather in the run! 

In the coop, I took more blue insulation sheets and positioned them along the windy side to help cut the wind. These birds stayed in! We didn't let them out at all. 

Dan happily shared his house with about 6 other chickens that made a break for his casa before the weather was too frigid the day before and so they were locked in with him, which worked out so well for us because we worried that he would be alone and cold. Those wee feathered friends kept him company and warmth! The only thing that I noticed two roosters have frostbite on their combs. I am so grateful that we didn't lose anyone!

Inside we were keeping warm the best we could. I hung up heavier curtains on the windows, blankets on our front door and everyone bundled up. Our furnace had a hard time keeping up and few weeks (thankfully) after that deadly weather snap it expired! 


We had a repairman come out to look at it and he didn't feel right to put it back together and to somehow rig it to work for legality reasons and of course, we didn't have the funds for a new one. Mr. Awessome dug out the kerosene heaters and we once again bundled up. It was a long nerve-racking week! We scrambled to find what funds we could and luckily an angel came through and lent us with what we were short. There's more to that story but that is it in a nutshell!

Next came warm weather then cold then warm and then windy! We had 40 - 50+ mph winds that knocked off siding, slate tiles from the roof, and blew outdoor stuff away. There was a plan to take the siding off anyway so we could scrape and paint the house so we kinda felt lucky to have the help with that! The roof is another sore spot that will need to be addressed soon. We do have our pans strategically placed in the attic to catch the drips but need a new roof. Sadly, most folks don't do payment plans unless it is through a finance company. With our credit, not the best, we are thinking of getting the Farmstay/Airbnb up sooner to help save up for the repairs. 

There is a possibility we may get that up and running this Summer instead of next. There is still a lot to do before we give the thumbs up for this plan. But it has been fun to find items for the bus and planning of some other sort of building. We have an idea of where the primitive spots are going. Those will be for campers that bring a tent and camp out in a designated spot.  I am gathering local spots for entertainment and sightseeing as well as local delicacies to share with guests. This part is exciting!

Soon more garden planning, seed starting, and writing book 4! This one will be about our homestead experience! I hope to have it ready to publish by the end of the year. I still have two other book ideas percolating in my mind but need to finish my other first.  I'm pretty excited to have a writing workshop next month, blessed to have several interviews sharing my story of my past, and working on more interviews and speaking events. Find out details on what is upcoming here- My Author page .

How has your winter be going? 

BIG HUGS!

A surprise Thanksgiving and fun stuff!

First off... Do you remember at the end of my previous post when I asked for thoughts if I should cut my hair? Well, I did it I cut my hair! Now, I'm letting it grow in for the winter and plan to do this cut again. I loved the playfulness of it! 

I hope you had an amazing Thanksgiving! We had an impromptu holiday! Jess, Don and Short Stack came over to visit and I went into overdrive trying to make the "perfect meal". 

UGH! Let's just say that sometimes I don't do well under pressure... I forgot about the ham and it was very well done. I planned on making green bean casserole and realized I didn't have green beans to make it. I made vegetarian stuffing and added WAY TOO MUCH Rosemary. It was good once you mixed it with the cranberries, mashed potatoes, and sweet potatoes. 

Everyone was pretty kind about it but I felt pretty crummy. Especially since Jess is vegan and eats no gluten, sugar, dairy, or eggs. I made the veggie stuffing just for her but it was hardly palatable without mixing it in the other stuff which contained things she could not eat.  Did I say UGH?!


Did I mention we now have a GOAT?! SQUEAL! Lt. Dan (Mr. Dan or Dan the Wonder Goat) is a Boer Goat and is a sweet pie! He has back leg issues but that doesn't stop him from getting around. He is still rather shy with us but yells for us when he needs food and water. (Typical male!)

He gave me a scare a few days back when I heard this awful shrieking from outside. When I poked my head outside I saw that he was tangled up in our tomato cage that I had sitting alongside our fence! 

I hurried, threw shoes on, shouted for Alex to help me and flew out the door. (This picture and the next one are him checking out "The Abbey" the duck truck. He was not stuck just a place to scratch his neck and chin)

After closer examination, we figure he went inside the end of the cage but realized he was in too far when he tried to back out so instead,he stood up which knocked him off his feet trying to get out. This is just our theory.

Luckily I heard him hollering for me! Our tomato cages are made with pretty heavy metal and I couldn't find Mr. Awesome's heavy duty cutters with time and patience he was finally free. Once he was up and around he relieved himself and hustled back to eating some greens. That was WAY TOO much excitement for me! 


So, I mentioned my thoughts about opening an Airbnb/Farmstay to Mr. Awesome. After some careful thought and research, he said okay! YAY! We still have, "Godherd the bus" that is in process of being remodeled. Check out our page God's Breath Farm 

He hopes to build a few tiny houses, (This is great because I am still planning on the having a healing sanctuary here as well.) a possible Teepee, Gypsy Trailer (Shepherd's camper) and also offering primitive spots. 

We hope to open in the Spring of 2020. There is SO much to do! I am not as handy with tools or construction as I would wish to be. I hoped to be able to help more with these projects. I do need to focus on getting the garden up and running. Soil testing, mulch, researching plants, trimming trees, tagging edible/medicinal/herbal plants and trees on the property. 

Also to possibly add more goats for Mr. Dan to frolic with. We are still thinking about adding sheep as well. We were gifted 12 new ducks, hens and bought 2 other hens. This brings our flock to 27. Well, last night we lost one so we are at 26. There are about 4 Roosters that we will probably take to auction in a few weeks. 

Today all the fluffy animals are happy to have bellies full of pumpkins that were donated by Donna from a nearby town.

Last year I saw that she had put about a dozen or so curbside and we snagged them for the chickens. I stopped in October this year to ask if she could give me a call if she was putting them curbside this year and she gave us a call! Alex and Mini Man took turns showing off mad skills with the machete. I was a bit nervous with Mini Man and gave him orders to squish the mushy ones instead. We had a eager flock ready to nibble! 

I found a beekeeping group that meets about 40 minutes north of us and I am looking forward to having a mentor! We chatted with Jerry and his wife, Tara from Illiana Beekeepers Alliance




In scary news, Mr. Awesome went to the E.R. a few weeks back. He had been experiencing some discomfort in his belly and he called me after it grew too uncomfortable for him one day. I knew it was serious! He is one to never complain about being sick! 

They labeled him with a pulled muscle but after seeing his follow-up doctor it may be something to do with his colon. There is no way to say any of this nicely (COUGH! Colonoscopy!). She prescribed some antacids and will see if that helps his discomfort and if that doesn't help he may need to have the Colonoscopy. Let's just say he is not happy about that but we praying it resolves itself. 

He has since reduced his coffee intake to 2 cups a day, GASP! That is serious! There is concern over his heart issues as well. He had been dealing with stress from his side of the family some time ago. A few things are unresolved and still sting. These weigh heavily on his mind. He misses his daughter that he hasn't heard from in sometime. He always wanted her to feel independent and that she could talk to him anytime. He didn't wish to pressure her into calling him all the time or about coming over. This could have led to perhaps some feelings that we are his "new family" and that he doesn't wish to have anything to do with her. Which is FAR from the case. 

Terry  and I feel that we are missing out on seeing her and her child. We don't have funds to see her as much as we would like. Nor does he want to hound her to call him. 

I don't feel close enough to call her. In the past I was had been pretty vocal on how I feel about how she treats him. You see my father figures (except my step-dad, Chet) was not rosy. Not to toot Terry's horn but he never beat her nor was he abusive in any other fashion so this boggles my mind as why she doesn't contact him. 

There's more but that is part of the issues with some of his family members. He says that it doesn't bother him but I know these things do. I'll keep you posted on what happens next. If you could keep him wrapped in prayers I would appreciate it greatly!

In other news that I shared on my Hope when there was none page, I was honored to be asked to be part of Dimensions of Intersections! 

The mission of Dimensions of Intersections, Inc. is to "Plant SEEDS of Hope" with victims and survivors of domestic violence, sexual assault and child abuse; and any individual who is in any way effected by mental illness with the hope of providing adequate Support, Education, Empathy, Empowerment and Diversity ("SEEDS") to those seeking our love, care and respect. Please check the organization at the link above. There are many wonderful changes that have been going on for the upcoming months!

I have one more speaking engagement for this year that I am super excited about and have two appearances planned for 2019 but plan to add as many as possible next year. 

I put out a few messages on social media in hopes of having some help finding groups and organizations to speak with. So far I haven't gotten any nibbles. I won't give up hope to keep sharing my story of surviving abuse or the other topics I speak about. Check out my Hope when there was none blog for posts on this and also "Searching for the light" stories from victims and Survivors of abuse.  

If you haven't picked up a copy of my book at local libraries in my part of Indiana (Lowell, Brook, Lake Village, or Demotte) they can be purchased online at Amazon. 

I hope the rest of your week is wonderful!

BIG HUGS!
Mel

We had babies... Chicks that is!

Great googly moogly! Wee balls of fuzz invaded Godsbreath Farm! Both from a new incubator and we duck sat for JV. 

We bought a new incubator. Our Brinsea Mini decided it didn't want to work anymore. So we made the big choice to snag a new one from our local TSC. 

I didn't check reviews of this, Harris Farms Nurture Right 360- ($135.00)  but we love it! We choose the one that holds 22 eggs, it has a self-turner, a built-in candler, thermometer, counts down to hatch time, external water pot for easy adding, and auto stop for hatching 3 days before! 

I don't get kickbacks from this but if you are looking for to hatch your own consider this incubator. :) I plan to hatch out some ducks and another batch of chicks starting next week to send to the animal auction. We may keep some of the ducks and send our older crew to the pot. It's not engraved in stone but it's a possibility for the Fall. 


JV's Motley Crew will be going back to her homestead. I may ask if I can keep a few. Our guests are Pekin, Khaki Campbell, and Rouen ducks. They are so cute, but the old battalion is having a hard time adjusting to them. Our male Pekin keeps picking on her and they seem messier than our four. I would still love to find some Indian Runners. I think those would complete our duck adventure! 

We found these last week- 

The is technical name for it and the shorter a name,"Stinkhorn" mushroom. There are other nicknames for it too.

The brown slime on the top attracts all kinds of ants, flying insects, and the like. I haven't smelled them, but I have read that they are smelly like rotting meat. EW, right?! I found them in our mulch. It's not that uncommon. If you handle them you are to wash your hands right away. I'm not planning on doing so or frying them up. (They aren't poisonous.)

My second hive is doing well. WHEW! I was worried after the first one died after a week. The place where we got them called me back after I told them what happened and I never heard back. I do have to try to reach out to them again next week to figure out what the heck happened. 

Our garden is growing well. I attempted to give it a boost by making some compost tea. The results are still out on this one. The darned Japanese Beetles are back, but this time we have the traps out sooner. We feed the bugs to the chickens and ducks... Free food!

 Now before you ask about the statues. I have no idea what came over my fascination with religious statues. I have no clue! No, I haven't turned away from Christianity or joined a different religion. They just tickle me. No worshipping these are necessary. Don't ask for more because there is no more. (BIG GRIN!)

What else is new? I began a book tour for my memoir, "Call me Master" and how I healed, "Rising from the Ashes". I also wrote a short guidebook, "Old Stuff & Dusty Treasures, for someone that wanted to jump into the world of antiques. I was tickled to find someone in Great Britain bought one! So now I'm an International Author! YAY!

Sharing my story has brought a whirlwind of wonderful opportunities for me to inspire someone that is trapped in an abusive situation or perhaps that just left. 

More about that on my other blog- Hope when there was none, you can also find information on where I'll be next on my book tour, speaking engagements, podcasts, and more!

So, let's talk about health. If you're new here, I have been battling Lyme dis-ease for well over 12+ years. I was infected by one Spider in 2007, another Spider in 2015, and once more in 2017 by a Mosquito. Yep, I'm fun to have around! 

You may be scratching your head about this because you have been told you can only get Lyme from Ticks or they aren't in Indiana or I am mistaken since Tick Nymphs are so teeny. 

Well, my Friend, Spider one- I found that the next morning after I rolled on it in the night and it tried to defend itself by biting my hip. I had the Lyme Flu the next day. Spider two was memorable because I felt the bite on my thigh. And within hours I had the Lyme Flu.

The mosquito bite? Yes, on my hip AGAIN but in a different area. Within hours it developed a funky look but I didn't get the Flu that time. 

Why didn't I go to the ER? With my first bite, I did. I was reassured that I was having a negative reaction to that type of spider and I would be okay. They gave me some Benadryl and Cortisone and sent me on my way. For subsequent episodes, I figured the same. SIGH!

I have been feeling all weird again. Irregular heartbeat, Air hunger, Vertigo, increasing Migraines, feeling hungry all the time even after eating, I gained weight (Despite trying Keto, Juicing, No whites and just laying off the carbs), and I was exhausted again. I was beginning to sleep all the time. There were more symptoms creeping back.

I was planning out my last moments again. Yes, it was getting "that bad". I didn't want to put it all out there. I smile. I try not to complain too much.  Jessica, my eldest was begging me to stop talking about my funeral on several occasions. The rest of my family was doing the same. 

Since the great knee incident, I feel as though I wanted to seclude myself. In some ways, I was feeling sorry for myself and like a burden to my family. Trust me I was praying, doing my affirmations, and vision board. My health is nowhere as poor as many chronic Lyme Warriors, but there are negative thoughts that pass through your mind. Luckily, we met Amber and Matt. She raises chickens, ducks, and goats. Mr. Awesome answered an ad about some rare breeds and we had the chance to buy new wee babies. Amber and I struck up a conversation and found out that we had Lyme in common. She alerted me about changes in the laws for Indiana. Mr. Awesome said to get my butt in to see if our favorite doctor can help. I am forever grateful for that meeting!

I went earlier this week. We discussed the possibility that my thyroid was burning green wood rather then seasoned wood. There's more to that but you get the jist. He ordered blood work, and a neato test to find out what medications and such will work for my body. He received the results yesterday and as suspected I was burning green wood. What this meant was a 45 day trial of a medication to give me a boost. He called in the prescription and within a half hour I was on my way to pick it up. I popped one and I gotta tell you, Mr. Awesome and I noticed a difference within an hour!

Today has been amazing! I slept through the night well. I haven't felt the need to take nap. I have more energy and feel good. It's been so long that I admit I'm waiting to see what happens tomorrow. In this short period of time I have chatted with another Lyme Warrior and she has been a wealth of information about Parasites! 

Tomorrow I do have a book signing at Somethin's Brewin Coffee

 Shop & Cafe at ReChic Unique Boutique in Demotte, IN from 1:00 P. M. to 3:00 P. M. I can't wait!


I am feeling blessed at this positive change in my body. I'll keep you updated. 

What's next? If my health continues then that bike across America may be in the works. 

Whatever your journey, I hope that it is blessed and wonderful! Have a great weekend! Talk to you soon!

Much love and BIG HUGS,
Mel

P.S.- If you know someone that is being abused or you suspect they may be. Contact your local law enforcement or shelter. You can also find a great deal of information here-www.thehotline.org

Is Winter over yet?

I would wager to say this has to be the coldest Winter in a very LONG time!

Being homebound has given me a bit of a cabin fever. I did get out over the past two weekends. Short trips into the nearby town. I got pretty pooped pretty fast. I'll find out later this week what is the story about my knee. (If I need surgery) The results show ligament tears, cartilage damage and my MCL has a tear. I'm still hobbling around on my crutches. This is week 7 and I was hoping for more mobility. I think I'm pushing myself too hard.

The rest of this Winter has not been uneventful!

Sadly, we have lost 3 hens due to the cold and 1 hen from an Owl. Right now we have 5 Ducks and 8 Chickens, including our Roo.  Our hope is to make or buy an incubator to hatch more. Or hit the farm auction in a few months for wee ones.

Our neighbor was wonderful to plow us out a few times! The pipes in the bathroom froze on two occasions. We were without propane twice, once due to running out, the company didn't come out in time to fill us and the other was due to the blower going out.

I've been pounding away on my second book. YAY me!

Homeschooling has been fun, but yet challenging. Mini Man is more of  Kinesthetic learner- meaning he learns much better through physical actions then me yammering on about different subjects.

My wonderful Sister came out for a visit a few weeks back. It was a lovely time! I twisted her arm to do a Vision Board. She brought Zucchini that was super yummy. Mini Man and my adorable Nephew played Nerf guns and ran around like mad men.

We're still doing garden planning and other house projects. I say, "We" but I really mean Mr. Awesome. I kind of just supervise from the couch. But I did treat myself to some nifty photo boxes that I am using for my seed storage. SWOON! I love how they look in them! Most of the seeds are ones I have collected from the previous years harvest. I do have a bit older and plan to test them to see if they are still viable before planting.




So, we burn our paper out in a burn barrel. Peanut is in charge of this task. Well... It was a bit breezy on Saturday when she tackled this project. Sure enough a ember flew out and WHOOSH! She came running in the house yelling for Mr. Awesome that the field was on fire. YIKES!






He ran outside and I hobbled to the back door to catch a few pictures. The event took about a half hour. Both of them were pretty tired when they got back in. We had planned on doing a bit of a small burn to hit the Thistles that are crazy in the meadow. So in a way it works out?






It was so nice outside yesterday we went to church! It's been ages and I missed going. The weather was also nice enough that Mr. Awesome grabbed chairs and I was able to ground myself.

I also got a chance to see some bee's flying and our other critters having a run around the yard.

Besides my knee, the Lyme has been flaring fierce. The upcoming supermoon is definitely making my body wonky. Creepy crawly, migraine, body pains and just all around feeling crappy.

I am putting in paperwork for Disability. It's my 4th round of doing so. This time I received a notice in the mail that my health provider considers my health medically frail and that I should consider filing for disability. I'm torn. I want to beat this. The flip side is that Lyme will never completely go away. It will hide (remission) until something causes it to rear its ugly head again. I don't wish to call myself disabled. That makes me feel defeated. Does that make sense? I do need to jump back on the fitness wagon by cutting out the sugar, carbs and other inflammatory things. I know I'll feel better. On the flipside I hate to burden my family with added special foods for groceries. I haven't cooked too much since the great knee incident. Convenience prepacked foods have been in the house. Where is Spring? Maybe that will help my mood.

So how is your Winter looking?

Hope your day is great!

BIG HUGS!
Mel

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Where did the time go?! Here I am on New Years Eve already!

Mr. Awesome and the kids have been tasked with my chores. Dishes, laundry, clean-up, meals and critter care. I can't begin to tell you how much I miss taking care of the Bunny, Ducks and Chickens. Even, mucking out the coops! I'm crazy, I know.

I was so touched when they put up the tree on Christmas Eve. YAY! I was kind of bummed about procrastinating decorating prior to my accident. They made it lovely. My other kiddos made it up from Lafayette to visit on Christmas Day too!  It was a blessing.

I am happy to report that I have a new knee brace and armed with physical therapy exercises to help me.

I still am unsure what is tore or ripped. But I am not due to see the DR. until February 2nd.

I KNOW RIGHT!?

This means I still have nothing but time to read, write, blog, binge on Netflix and YouTube. I have created some jewelry, writing my second book, just made a new page called, Hope when there was none- Hope when there was none

I share information about safety in leaving an abuser, Tips, also uplifting quotes and pictures. I am not sure why I didn't think of it before!

So as we ring in the New Year, I am grateful for the love and tribe I have around me. I hope the New Year brings you a safe, comfortable and healthy year.

I can't wait to see what happens next!

BIG HUGS!
Mel

Guess what I did...

I can't believe I did something so crazy, last Saturday. 

The day started innocently enough. We had a birthday party for my adorable Nephew, who turned the big 3 years old, to go to later that day. 

It's a hike from our home to the party place, but we made it a nice time by hitting our favorite breakfast spot when in the area- Omelette House. I'm drooling just thinking about it now. 

Afterwards, we hit a thrift store that was 'new' to us. That ate up just enough time to go to the party!

We hadn't even been at the party for an hour when disaster struck...

I was participating in something that a woman of the age of 47 years young, should not be doing.

What you ask?

Bouncing with my Sisters, in a bounce house. 

Yep! There I was feeling good. Thinking my Lymph system is going to be very happy from all the jumping around I was doing. Everyone is having a grand time. 

Next thing you know, I bounced and came down in excruciating pain! 

I saw stars.

The pain took my breath away.

My head felt thick and fuzzy. 

I could hear their worried voices filled with concern and excitement in the background. In that group of voices, I could hear my Mom, asking if I can get up because I was scaring the children. Oddly and inwardly, that made me laugh. She added that she didn't want anyone bumping into me, causing me more hurt.

Gotta love her! 

I kept feeling as though I was wetting my pants. My vanity kept checking to make sure I wasn't. That's all I needed. On top of hurting my knee, pride, feeling stupid and to pee myself?!

UGH!

I heard someone yell to look for Terry, who had just ran to the store for a T-shirt a very sweaty, Mini Man. 

Next thing you know these beautiful blue eyes are staring at me with so much love that I felt my heart burst. He spoke to me gently about if I could move my leg. I honestly don't remember speaking. 

I felt hot and sweaty. 

I couldn't speak.

I felt like I was going to throw up. I thought to myself, please don't let me blowing chunks too...

The fuzzy cotton feeling was leaving my head, though there was ringing in my ears making it hard to hear everyone. Voices were chatting all at once at me. 

Could I walk? 
Could I move my toes? 
Was I okay?

Terry asked if I could get up. I shook my head and squeaked out a "No!"

My leg felt weird. Kind of like jelly but with hot pokers stabbing the knee. My hip and ankle hurt too. At the same time I didn't feel my leg. It felt floaty. That scared me. It was a weird feeling. If it felt floaty why did it hurt so *@*!-ing bad?!

He managed to help me slide out. He asked if I could walk. I tried but then I felt a lightening flash of pain as my knee decided to slide to the left of my leg. The back of my leg felt as though it was popping to the back of where it shouldn't and the top of my leg seemed to keep on it's path forward. 

I freaked out and saw my Dad sitting to my left and called for him.

Back in the day, he was in charge of the Ortho Department as a Ortho Tech. 

He came over quickly, peppered me with questions about how I was feeling. 

They found me a chair that I managed to slide in. I felt the room dimming. Even my lips felt heavy.

I told myself, 'NO! I can't pass out! Mini Man is scared enough!'

His eyes were as big as saucers and I could see his bottom lip quivering with worry.

I felt a rush of heat that reminded me of a hot flash. Still feeling nauseated, someone gave me a bottle of water and an ice pack. 

Dad and Terry kept talking to me. All the while I just wanted everyone to be quiet. 

I couldn't think. 

I hated to worry everyone. I knew something was terribly wrong with my knee. Dad reminded Terry we are right across the street from the hospital.

After what seemed like an eternity, in actuality I think it was less than 10 minutes, I told Terry I think we needed to go to the E.R.

Arrangements were made to keep Mini Man at the party with the family. There was about another hour to go and he was looking forward to pizza and cake. Staying would get his thoughts toward something fun instead of worrying about me. 

My parents and Terry managed to grab a wheeled chair to take me out to the Jeep.

I felt cooler at that time. My need to vomit was fading. Thank goodness!

I managed to joke with other parents as we were leaving, not to play in the bounce house because this is what happens.

I couldn't just get in the Jeep like usual. 

NO WAY!

Terry thought it would be best for me to sit in the back across the seats. I freaked out a few more times as the knee wiggled off the side of my leg again, sending stars back. 

Now how we got in the E.R. is fuzzy. I'm not sure why. 

I shook just about the whole time I was there. I know the shock of the whole situation was bearing down on me. Terry gave me a HUGE hug that grounded me back down to earth. 

After the evaluation with the D.R., he said, he believed that my Patella may have been detached as well as damage to ligaments and possibly my MCL.

I felt even more dumb.

My parental units and Sister  brought Mini Man to us afteward. Mom captured that pivotal moment on video. So, much of that moment maybe entirely different then I recall. 

By this time I was in better spirits, was given pain medication and waiting to be discharged. They joked a kidded me to keep my mind from wondering about my horrendous folly.

The ride home was not pleasant. I hadn't eaten since early that morning and the pain medication was making my nausea worse. 

I was never ever so grateful to see the Golden Arches. We rarely eat fast food but it was just enough to settle my stomach. I closed my eyes on the way home, still using my pressure points to help with the car sickness as well.

After we got settled in, I reassured Mini Man that my leg didn't fall off and wasn't broken. I showed him what it looked like and that satisfied him enough to ease his concerns.

A visit on Wednesday to see the Orthopedic D.R. was another backseat adventure. 

Did I mention I get carsick in the backseat? I was holding my pressure points on the way to and from on last Saturday and Wednesday. 

His thought is that I just tore the heck out of my knee area and that he will know more when he see the MRI results. He believes that a 6-8 week recovery will be in order. 


BUT...

He stated that if the MRI shows if I tore or detached my Patella or MCL or worse then I will need surgery that he would do 'after' my 6-8 week for the swelling to go down. Then, the surgery. The recovery from that will be another 6-8 weeks to heal. 

Confused? I was too. 

So, we are talking a possible 112 days if it is the worst scenario when all said and done!

ECK!

The MRI has not yet been approved by insurance. I'm supposed to have it on this upcoming Tuesday, seeing the D.R. again on Wednesday for the results. He also ordered a flexible knee brace that I did get an appointment for on Wednesday as well. 

So this is where I'm at. I work my way between one side of the couch to another. I try to sit in Mr. Awesome's chair to add variety and get up at least once an hour to stretch my aching behind. 

Training for my whirlwind bike tour is off the table right now. It's not impossible, just not happening for awhile.

The opening of my little antique shop is also being pushed back until late Summer or Fall of 2018.

When I do it, I really do it good!

Thankfully, Peanut is on Winter break. She can help me out really well. I've enlisted her and Mr. Awesome to perform energy work on my knee at least once a day. 

I received a new book, 'How to heal yourself when no one else can', by Amy B. Scher. that I'm excited about trying out. It deals with EFT. I'll experiment and let you know how that works with my other energy work. 

Mini Man is the every dutiful wee one. He helps out a bunch and only whines complains a little bit.

I admit to already going stir crazy. I am still a terrible patient.  

Mr. Awesome believes that in some weird way maybe this is a way for me to slow down and just heal from Lyme issues. 

I feel grateful. 

It wasn't both legs. 

These legs have supported me everyday. 

Carried me. 

Helped me run to safety when I needed to. 

I love my legs. 

Kind and soulful, Wendi, who is a Moderator in one of the many FB groups I recently joined, reminded me to send love to my legs. I need to do this for the rest of my body as well for continued healing for Lyme.

It's funny how much you begin to appreciate things when you are unable to do the normal routine. I'm blessed. This is small stuff in comparison to so many other issues others have. Though I may rant whine  talk about being a bummed and frustrated. I know this is for a reason. 

I have had time to finish a shawl that I had been working on and off for a few years.

I crocheted a pair of slippers for myself, created a button necklace and earring set, and working on my next book. 

Most importantly, I have time to dig into my Bible!

Research design ideas for my shop, call Scotty about opening a farmstay, market my books, do another Vision Board, design our next garden, think of potentially setting up at the Spring fleamarket and dream of other wonderful things next year. 

I'm excited no matter what the outcome of my knee. I know God's got this!


P.S.- It's okay to laugh at this. I am. What a story that my Sister will remember, marking my Nephews special day!