Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Where did the time go?! Here I am on New Years Eve already!

Mr. Awesome and the kids have been tasked with my chores. Dishes, laundry, clean-up, meals and critter care. I can't begin to tell you how much I miss taking care of the Bunny, Ducks and Chickens. Even, mucking out the coops! I'm crazy, I know.

I was so touched when they put up the tree on Christmas Eve. YAY! I was kind of bummed about procrastinating decorating prior to my accident. They made it lovely. My other kiddos made it up from Lafayette to visit on Christmas Day too!  It was a blessing.

I am happy to report that I have a new knee brace and armed with physical therapy exercises to help me.

I still am unsure what is tore or ripped. But I am not due to see the DR. until February 2nd.

I KNOW RIGHT!?

This means I still have nothing but time to read, write, blog, binge on Netflix and YouTube. I have created some jewelry, writing my second book, just made a new page called, Hope when there was none- Hope when there was none

I share information about safety in leaving an abuser, Tips, also uplifting quotes and pictures. I am not sure why I didn't think of it before!

So as we ring in the New Year, I am grateful for the love and tribe I have around me. I hope the New Year brings you a safe, comfortable and healthy year.

I can't wait to see what happens next!

BIG HUGS!
Mel

Guess what I did...

I can't believe I did something so crazy, last Saturday. 

The day started innocently enough. We had a birthday party for my adorable Nephew, who turned the big 3 years old, to go to later that day. 

It's a hike from our home to the party place, but we made it a nice time by hitting our favorite breakfast spot when in the area- Omelette House. I'm drooling just thinking about it now. 

Afterwards, we hit a thrift store that was 'new' to us. That ate up just enough time to go to the party!

We hadn't even been at the party for an hour when disaster struck...

I was participating in something that a woman of the age of 47 years young, should not be doing.

What you ask?

Bouncing with my Sisters, in a bounce house. 

Yep! There I was feeling good. Thinking my Lymph system is going to be very happy from all the jumping around I was doing. Everyone is having a grand time. 

Next thing you know, I bounced and came down in excruciating pain! 

I saw stars.

The pain took my breath away.

My head felt thick and fuzzy. 

I could hear their worried voices filled with concern and excitement in the background. In that group of voices, I could hear my Mom, asking if I can get up because I was scaring the children. Oddly and inwardly, that made me laugh. She added that she didn't want anyone bumping into me, causing me more hurt.

Gotta love her! 

I kept feeling as though I was wetting my pants. My vanity kept checking to make sure I wasn't. That's all I needed. On top of hurting my knee, pride, feeling stupid and to pee myself?!

UGH!

I heard someone yell to look for Terry, who had just ran to the store for a T-shirt a very sweaty, Mini Man. 

Next thing you know these beautiful blue eyes are staring at me with so much love that I felt my heart burst. He spoke to me gently about if I could move my leg. I honestly don't remember speaking. 

I felt hot and sweaty. 

I couldn't speak.

I felt like I was going to throw up. I thought to myself, please don't let me blowing chunks too...

The fuzzy cotton feeling was leaving my head, though there was ringing in my ears making it hard to hear everyone. Voices were chatting all at once at me. 

Could I walk? 
Could I move my toes? 
Was I okay?

Terry asked if I could get up. I shook my head and squeaked out a "No!"

My leg felt weird. Kind of like jelly but with hot pokers stabbing the knee. My hip and ankle hurt too. At the same time I didn't feel my leg. It felt floaty. That scared me. It was a weird feeling. If it felt floaty why did it hurt so *@*!-ing bad?!

He managed to help me slide out. He asked if I could walk. I tried but then I felt a lightening flash of pain as my knee decided to slide to the left of my leg. The back of my leg felt as though it was popping to the back of where it shouldn't and the top of my leg seemed to keep on it's path forward. 

I freaked out and saw my Dad sitting to my left and called for him.

Back in the day, he was in charge of the Ortho Department as a Ortho Tech. 

He came over quickly, peppered me with questions about how I was feeling. 

They found me a chair that I managed to slide in. I felt the room dimming. Even my lips felt heavy.

I told myself, 'NO! I can't pass out! Mini Man is scared enough!'

His eyes were as big as saucers and I could see his bottom lip quivering with worry.

I felt a rush of heat that reminded me of a hot flash. Still feeling nauseated, someone gave me a bottle of water and an ice pack. 

Dad and Terry kept talking to me. All the while I just wanted everyone to be quiet. 

I couldn't think. 

I hated to worry everyone. I knew something was terribly wrong with my knee. Dad reminded Terry we are right across the street from the hospital.

After what seemed like an eternity, in actuality I think it was less than 10 minutes, I told Terry I think we needed to go to the E.R.

Arrangements were made to keep Mini Man at the party with the family. There was about another hour to go and he was looking forward to pizza and cake. Staying would get his thoughts toward something fun instead of worrying about me. 

My parents and Terry managed to grab a wheeled chair to take me out to the Jeep.

I felt cooler at that time. My need to vomit was fading. Thank goodness!

I managed to joke with other parents as we were leaving, not to play in the bounce house because this is what happens.

I couldn't just get in the Jeep like usual. 

NO WAY!

Terry thought it would be best for me to sit in the back across the seats. I freaked out a few more times as the knee wiggled off the side of my leg again, sending stars back. 

Now how we got in the E.R. is fuzzy. I'm not sure why. 

I shook just about the whole time I was there. I know the shock of the whole situation was bearing down on me. Terry gave me a HUGE hug that grounded me back down to earth. 

After the evaluation with the D.R., he said, he believed that my Patella may have been detached as well as damage to ligaments and possibly my MCL.

I felt even more dumb.

My parental units and Sister  brought Mini Man to us afteward. Mom captured that pivotal moment on video. So, much of that moment maybe entirely different then I recall. 

By this time I was in better spirits, was given pain medication and waiting to be discharged. They joked a kidded me to keep my mind from wondering about my horrendous folly.

The ride home was not pleasant. I hadn't eaten since early that morning and the pain medication was making my nausea worse. 

I was never ever so grateful to see the Golden Arches. We rarely eat fast food but it was just enough to settle my stomach. I closed my eyes on the way home, still using my pressure points to help with the car sickness as well.

After we got settled in, I reassured Mini Man that my leg didn't fall off and wasn't broken. I showed him what it looked like and that satisfied him enough to ease his concerns.

A visit on Wednesday to see the Orthopedic D.R. was another backseat adventure. 

Did I mention I get carsick in the backseat? I was holding my pressure points on the way to and from on last Saturday and Wednesday. 

His thought is that I just tore the heck out of my knee area and that he will know more when he see the MRI results. He believes that a 6-8 week recovery will be in order. 


BUT...

He stated that if the MRI shows if I tore or detached my Patella or MCL or worse then I will need surgery that he would do 'after' my 6-8 week for the swelling to go down. Then, the surgery. The recovery from that will be another 6-8 weeks to heal. 

Confused? I was too. 

So, we are talking a possible 112 days if it is the worst scenario when all said and done!

ECK!

The MRI has not yet been approved by insurance. I'm supposed to have it on this upcoming Tuesday, seeing the D.R. again on Wednesday for the results. He also ordered a flexible knee brace that I did get an appointment for on Wednesday as well. 

So this is where I'm at. I work my way between one side of the couch to another. I try to sit in Mr. Awesome's chair to add variety and get up at least once an hour to stretch my aching behind. 

Training for my whirlwind bike tour is off the table right now. It's not impossible, just not happening for awhile.

The opening of my little antique shop is also being pushed back until late Summer or Fall of 2018.

When I do it, I really do it good!

Thankfully, Peanut is on Winter break. She can help me out really well. I've enlisted her and Mr. Awesome to perform energy work on my knee at least once a day. 

I received a new book, 'How to heal yourself when no one else can', by Amy B. Scher. that I'm excited about trying out. It deals with EFT. I'll experiment and let you know how that works with my other energy work. 

Mini Man is the every dutiful wee one. He helps out a bunch and only whines complains a little bit.

I admit to already going stir crazy. I am still a terrible patient.  

Mr. Awesome believes that in some weird way maybe this is a way for me to slow down and just heal from Lyme issues. 

I feel grateful. 

It wasn't both legs. 

These legs have supported me everyday. 

Carried me. 

Helped me run to safety when I needed to. 

I love my legs. 

Kind and soulful, Wendi, who is a Moderator in one of the many FB groups I recently joined, reminded me to send love to my legs. I need to do this for the rest of my body as well for continued healing for Lyme.

It's funny how much you begin to appreciate things when you are unable to do the normal routine. I'm blessed. This is small stuff in comparison to so many other issues others have. Though I may rant whine  talk about being a bummed and frustrated. I know this is for a reason. 

I have had time to finish a shawl that I had been working on and off for a few years.

I crocheted a pair of slippers for myself, created a button necklace and earring set, and working on my next book. 

Most importantly, I have time to dig into my Bible!

Research design ideas for my shop, call Scotty about opening a farmstay, market my books, do another Vision Board, design our next garden, think of potentially setting up at the Spring fleamarket and dream of other wonderful things next year. 

I'm excited no matter what the outcome of my knee. I know God's got this!


P.S.- It's okay to laugh at this. I am. What a story that my Sister will remember, marking my Nephews special day!

Happy birthday to me! Guess what I finished my book!

I really wish I could tell you that I wrote this amazing Sci-Fi or Romance novel.

It's not...

I opened up even more than I do on my other blog- Hope when there was none .

Sharing some of the many deepest secrets I have was quite a healing journey for me.

I am a Survivor of Domestic Violence. I've posted ramblings on here from time to time about my struggles.

My book is called, "Call me Master", it contains adult content so it is not kids. It is available on Amazon for Kindle for $4.99. The paperback is due out later this month as well find me here- Author Central- Melinda Kunst

I'm hoping to donate copies to shelters, churches and more.

It's not just my story about escaping abuse. I have shared many things and tools I learned that helped me stay safe. Even if you don't think this is for you, perhaps you do not know what abuse looks like. Abuse is not just physical. It is mental, sexual, emotional and financial.

You may not realize the pattern when you are in the thick of this type of relationship. Also, abuse has no prejudice, you can find abuse in every generation, sex, and age. There is also abuse between co-workers!

Learn what abuse is and what steps you can take to get out.

I'm also in the process of writing a follow-up book called, "Rising from the Ashes". In this you will find more tactics I used to help me "after" I left my situation. With these I was able to kick PTSD in the butt! This will be available in early 2018.

So, sorry there hasn't been too many pictures or updates on the farm. I've been a bit busy with the holidays and writing.


We celebrated 3 birthdays for November! We celebrated my eldest Son via FB.

 We explored Willow Slough and met JV, Mike and the kids for a walk about.

 Did I mention Mr. Awesome turned 60?! Jess, Don, and Short Stack came down to celebrate. I appreciate those that sent cards! That meant a lot! It was a fun day.

 I celebrated my 47th year on this beautiful planet! I also had the gift of an awful migraine, courtesy of Lyme Dis-ease.

I want to ride across the US on a bicycle! I know crazy right? But, if you know me this isn't far fetched. I started training last week and I'm doing a cleanse right now. Getting back into fitness is hard.  I started with cycling on a stationary bike last week. 3 days on and a 4th day for Yoga or Ski machine. I did walk a wee bit funny last week.
The bike needs a new seat in a bad way. Or maybe it's just me.  My better half suggested taking things really slow, such as starting to travel to the next town over and than biking to other surrounding town. After that, bike through the county, state and so on.

This actually sounds do-able. I keep talking myself out of it, I'm still healing from Lyme, tired all the time, there's the expense of a new bike, helmet, shoes, and other equipment. I then think maybe it's not a good idea after all. I know where's my positivity?

Mr. Awesome will be my chase car. I will keep praying on this and I'll keep you posted on this. The ride won't be until or after my 50th birthday so I have time to figure out a route and such.

I dusted off my Vision Boards! I haven't done one since last year, SHAME ON ME! I miss doing them and sharing how to do them. I had planned a few workshops this month, but it's terrible timing. I do have one scheduled in Brook, IN for a Singles group.  I'm pretty excited about that and hope to do more venue's.

The garden and Bees are buckled down. Many of my plans for this year were pushed back or restructured. Mr. Awesome started work a few month ago, making him a weekend Warrior. I also, just wasn't feeling good.

We did lose one of our Buck-eye hens a few weeks back. She just upped left or maybe she was taken by a Hawk or Raccoon. I was pretty sadden about that.

If I don't blog again for a bit please, have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from our family to yours!

BIG HUGS!
Mel