Mr Awesome has been keeping busy with various projects around the house and garden.
He staked out a pie shape for me to work on a Potager style garden! Worked on some electrical issues, put up trim in the kids rooms, worked on our mowers, took off the roosts from the old chicken coop, some plumbing fixes, moved several furniture pieces around the house and to the
barn and put up with me.
We had a visitor digging down under the front stairs so Mr. Awesome also threw more dirt down, added slate and I threw down some mulch in hopes of deterring our visitor. We'll see if this helps!
We have an outlet outside! Hooray! All of these things are small projects to him but they add up in the grand scheme of things.
I did plant a few of my cool weather plants in, herbs, sowed flowers and more veggies! I have been busy working on more Dreamcatchers to bring to the upcoming Fleamarket! I did have 2 women offer to buy them all but they never followed through.
My Duck egg hatched is a dud! My incubator decided it's not going to work and gave itself up to ghost. So no chicks but a journey to the farm auction is a maybe. Mr. Awesome meant to go but things just keep popping up.
I have been very off kilter, blame it on the moon or my cycle. I'm a mess! I felt like giving up the other day in regard to my health. I guess feeling a bit of despair and sorry for myself. I told Terry I feel just useless as a Wife and Mom right now. His reply is always tear jerking, super awesome, God I love this Man, sappiness and gushy.
My memory is flaking out, my parts are hurting, I feel awfully tired, my visits to nap time are coming more frequent again, I am stumbling often and dare I say I'm fearful of being bedridden again.
I wrote a email to my family advising of some final wishes. Now I have no intentions of going anywhere soon but the feeling darkness was strong the last few weeks. I'm normally a happy-go-lucky Lady but something is not quite right.
I've went dark on some of my visits to Social Media land. Opting instead for something less news worthy... Instagram and Pinterest! I haven't chatted with anyone or visited anyone for a LONG TIME. While I feel a deep need to reconnect with my family, I am just too exhausted. Too tired to talk sometimes and how does that make sense? Even eating requires effort. Well not that much if you have seen me.
I have opened some books I've been meaning to reed and started reading my Bible again. I need to journal and ground myself again, but felt it was a dire time to do some smudging. It's gotten to the point where I had to tell Mr. Awesome that he hasn't been so awesome (He's been a bit grumpier lately) and needs to find a job or something he can get out of the house to do. He is a stay-at-home Dad, unable to find work in his chosen profession and he considers his age, 59 years young to be a contributor of why he hasn't been able to find a position.
My job is fine. It is not rocket science. I meet wonderful people and it pays the bills. Though I managed to ask for a raise. I really don't want to go through the process of finding a new job or I may have to find another part-time one. But the hours are awesome! My side dream businesses are on the slow side leaving me to question my path/what I want to be when I grow up.
With my brain fog I forgot to pay a few bills so now we are a bit behind. Our tax return has been in process for more then 6 weeks, despite it being electronically deposited. Grrface!
In all this I am reminded that I need to be grateful. I had a hug out of the blue from a co-worker, a compliment from a guest that came out of nowhere to serve a reminder to me that there are many folks in this world that are suffering, had a loss, unemployed, in poor health or without the joys I have right now. I feel selfish for my feelings. So smudging seemed appropriate to break the tension in CasaMel's. I did a YouTube of a few basic information, also the prayer I used, links to other negativity busting ideas and my Bible info! Find it here- Go Smudge yourself! Dang full moon...
I am picking myself up, dusting myself off, lift my eyes upward and a quit my whining. Well, at least for this month...